I am not the Past
by satans assistant
Summary: DISCONTINUED Oct. 12 2015 Her hair was thinning and so was her body. A few wrinkles and worry lines detailed her face, and she no longer wore her leather jacket or makeup. Her heart beat against her chest as she grew closer to her destination, but she knew this was something she had to do / Vidalia goes back to Beach City to see her sons, wanting to make up for all the lost time.
1. Arriving

**A/N: I know I should be working on my Jaspidot fic but... This idea has been calling to me ever since the newest episode. I'm only planing about 3 chapters, so this'll be quick and after this I promise I'll start working on the other fic again! I tried hard to keep everyone in character, even Vidalia who only had like. one line lol. Enjoy!**

* * *

Her hair was thinning and so was her body. A few wrinkles and worry lines detailed her face, and she no longer wore her leather jacket or makeup. Her heart beat against her chest as she grew closer to her destination, but she knew this was something she had to do. After years and years, now was the time.

She clutched her duffel bag tight enough to make her knuckles whiten, she could practically hear and smell the ocean at this point. It had been a long time since she'd been here, she wondered if anyone would remember her. She stayed for a few months, but then she had to go.

She had a music career, after all.

"This is your stop, ma'am. Beach City, right?" The cab driver asked with a rough voice, years of heavy smoking obvious in the way he coughed right after.

She nodded before handing the cab driver her money, "Yeah."

He counted the bills, and as she was leaving he called out to her from the open window, "You forgot your change, miss."  
"Keep it."

He shrugged and promptly put a cigar in his mouth, lighting it and driving away, leaving her in front of her biggest fear. Her heart beat grew faster and faster, and she was sure it would beat out of her chest. Taking a deep breath and swallowing, she walked aimlessly, hoping to find someone – anyone – that could help her find her sons.

* * *

She seemed to have gone off course, because now things weren't as she remembered. In the long years she had been gone, only a few things had changed. The atmosphere was one of them.

She had never been in this area before, a little bit away from the ocean.

She stopped in her tracks and looked to her side, seeing a car wash. Had that always been here? Maybe she could ask someone in there which way to the board walk – or better yet, her sons. Her steps were slow and soft – she was just stalling and she knew this. She saw a van close by, and it looked familiar. She stopped breathing and looked around frantically. Someone that would know where her children where.

"Vidalia?" a voice came from behind her. She jumped and turned around with wide eyes before quickly composing herself and clearing her throat,

"Still living in your van, I see. What an… interesting hairstyle you have now, Greg."

"Yeah, well, you know," he chuckled, a slight pink rising on his cheeks, "but – anyway – what are you doing here?"

The one question she didn't want to answer out loud.

"I'm -" Vidalia knew she could come up with a quick excuse, but what would that achieve? She was here for one reason and one reason only. She had to get it done with. "My kids."

The smile quickly faded from his face and he knit his brows, "You have _kids_ here?"

"Yeah. Me and Marty – that fucking –" She pursed her lips for a few seconds before continuing, "It was a one-night stand. He knocked me up and left, Greg. He just _left_. He knew, too… And I couldn't just give up this child. I tried to keep it as under wraps as I could, and I lived on Yellowtail's boat for a while and after he was born I… You know. I had another kid, but at that point I was already out of here and I just… sent him back here to his dad."

Greg looked at her with knit brows, "Oh – oh man, I – I dunno what to say. That's horrible. I'm so sorry, Vidalia… Why did you leave though? Wait – I mean," the words slipped from his mouth; he didn't mean to ask such a personal question to an acquaintance, "You don't have to answer that."

She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him, "I had a music career too, you know. I couldn't take them with me, I wouldn't have enough time to spend with them – plus… Yellowtail is a good man. He can take much better care of them, right? But that's all I'm saying about this. Can you tell me where they are?"

He rubbed at the back of his neck, "Of course! But, I'd need to know their names."

"Onion and Ma- … Sour Cream."

Greg smiled slightly, "I know them. I don't know where they'd be, though, but my son should! He's actually going to be coming around here in about an hour, we were gonna spend some quality time together. You can ask him, that is, if you have some time to kill."

"Yeah, if you tell me about this son of yours." She couldn't help but smile slightly, at least she was able to run into someone friendly. But, this was just more stalling – though, she convinced herself that she had a reason this time – someone knew where her kids would be.

* * *

It was a slow day at the car wash, and the sun was merciless. Greg had set up chairs for the two as they waited for his son to show up.

"So, your son…. What's his name? What's he like?" She asked while fanning herself with a flier.  
"His name's Steven – he's got his dad's musical talent and his mom's charm, that's for sure," He smiled, trying to hide the fact that even mentioning at Rose made his throat swell up.  
"His mom – Marty said something about you leaving to stay here because of a woman. He said you were stupid but – you weren't. Can I meet her?"

The words stabbed through his chest and his smile turned to a frown. No matter how long it had been, loosing Rose was one of the hardest things for him to even think about.

"You… can't. She's not…." He couldn't look Vidalia in the eyes and she instantly knew to just leave it at that,  
"I get it. You don't have to talk about it, but, I'm sure she was beautiful. I'm sure that – she really _really_ loved you."

"She was – she did. I loved her too. She was… amazing. Big pink curly hair, super tall, a smile that could light up the whole room – I miss her so much – but I have Steven, and even though I don't see him as much as I'd like to, I'm so glad that he's here with me." He couldn't possibly explain that Rose wasn't even _human_, and the reason why he couldn't see Steven often was because he was on missions with the gems, but at least he could tell her how beautiful Rose was, inside and out.

"She sounds like a great woman. You were smart to go back for her." She clutched her bag again, sighing deeply and closing her eyes. _If only Marty __had__ went back for her, too._ She quickly dismissed the thought, knowing that that part of her life was over now. However, a voice spoke up and she opened her eyes,  
"Dad! I'm here – hey, who's this?" She looked over to see a small chubby child, with curly hair and a smile on his face.  
"Steven! This is Vidalia," he waved to her.  
He gasped, "The one from your story? Wow! Hey, is Marty here too?"  
"_Steven_!" He cleared his throat, "N-no, he's not." He quickly glanced over at Vidalia, her eyes hinting at the sadness she must have felt at the memory of Marty. However, she laughed it off,

"This one's just full of energy, huh?"  
"You know it -" Greg said before turning to look at Steven, "Hey, buddy – I know we were gonna spend time together today but Vidalia needs you to help her on a mission! Think you can handle it?"

Steven's eyes lit up, "You know it! I'm ready for anything," he gave a thumbs up before looking back at Vidalia, "So, what's the mission?"

She stood up, swinging her duffel bag over her shoulder, "I need you to help me find someone your dad says you know. Sour Cream and Onion."

"Yeah, I know them! So, we gotta track them down, eh? No problem!"

Once again her heart did a weird dance against her chest. Now was the time, she was going to finally see her sons after all these years.

She turned to Greg and held her hand out, shaking his roughly when he did the same, "Thanks, Greg. I appreciate this. I'll get him back to you as soon as I can."

He pulled her into a quick hug, making her cringe, "You go find your kids and tell them how much you love them."


	2. Rejection from most, acceptance from one

Vidalia never cared for the smell of the ocean, even though she had lived on a boat for a few years before leaving Beach City. The ocean was all she could smell at this point, just like when she was with Marty. She remembers she could smell the ocean from the van's open windows and could here Greg's music, muffled by the thick walls of the vehicle. Marty was as good with his hands as he was with his words, and for the first time in her life she thought, _'this is what love is'_. She couldn't be more wrong.

With each wave that came another memory did, however, not all bad. She remembers that while on Yelllwtail's boat she'd get seasick often; but he stayed by her side and offered ginger ale and medicine when he could. Always fish for dinner, but sometimes he would bring her chocolates, her favorite kind. The small ones with raspberry filling in them.

He wasn't a vocal man but she always understood him. Too bad at this time, she was still in love with Marty, a man who didn't give a rat's ass about her. She couldn't appreciate all that Yellowtail did for her and her family, and after all this time he kept Sour Cream as his own, just for her. Or maybe it wasn't _just for her_, maybe he did it because he truly cares. It was probably the second.

"So, how do you know Onion and Sour Cream?" Steven's voice piped up and took Vidalia out of her thoughts. She took a deep breath to compose herself before speaking,

"I'm their mom."

"Whoa, really?" He stopped walking and turned on his heels to get a better look at her, "I can totally see the resemblance!"

She couldn't help but smile at Steven's words, hoping that Sour Cream grew up to look more like _her_ than his father.

"I'll take that as a complement."

The two were finally on the boardwalk again, getting closer and closer to the ocean that was filled with chapters of her life. Was she truly ready to see them again?

The shops were cute and small, like she remembered. The boardwalk creaked with each step and the sound of the vast ocean tried to drown it out with it's own noise. Steven stopped and squinted in the distance before waving and yelling,  
"Onion! Hey, Onion!" He ran over to the young boy and Vidalia lightly jogged to catch up with him. This was it, this was the time.

She swallowed hard and looked at the young boy in front of her. He looked so much like his father, but still shared some traits with her. She knelt down as Steven presented her, waving his hands in front of her,

"Onion! Meeeeeeet…. Your mom!"

His eyes widened and he dropped the small bag of popcorn he was holding, staring at her for a few seconds in utter disbelief. She looked at him with a worried expression, but as she opened her mouth to speak, he turned around and fled. In a split second she could feel her heart shatter, worse than it did when Marty left her. This rejection was much, much worse.

He ran from her. Just _ran_. Maybe she deserved this, though. She sent him off to live with his dad so she could try and 'make it big'. She was so selfish and she knew it. If she were Onion, she wouldn't forgive herself either.

_'You left to be in some stupid band that didn't even last long. You left and sent me off because you weren't responsible for one child let alone two. You're a horrible mother, you should've never came back here.'_

She stood up slowly with crackling joints and hiked the bag back up on her shoulder. Steven scratched at the back of his head,

"Ah, don't worry. He's like that sometimes, I'm sure it has nothing to do with you."

Oh, but this had **everything** to do with her. Like Yellowtail he was rather easy to read at times, and this was one of those times.

Shaking her head, she patted Steven's head, "I guess he just needs some time to himself, then. Come on, you can still help me find Sour Cream, right?" She grinned and watched as his eyes lit up once more,

"Yeah! He's usually hanging out with Jenny and Buck, let's check the pizza shop to see if they're there!"

She nodded and followed him, hoping that he _would_ be there. She didn't want to overstay her welcome or anything, she just had to get in, do what she had to do, and then get out. But, she probably wouldn't be able to do this, either.

The pizza shop was cute and the smell was strong, but she didn't mind it. As they walked in they were greeted by a girl at the counter,

"Hey Steven. What's up?" She asked, moving her hand to give him a high five,

"Jenny! Is Sour Cream here?" He asked, slapping his hand against hers. She shook her head, resting an elbow on the counter and her face in her hand,

"Nah, you just missed him. He and Buck were gonna go do _something_ – or **something**, I don't know. If you run you could probably catch up to them," she then glanced up at Vidalia, raising an eyebrow, "Who's your new friend?"

"Oh! This is Vidalia, Sour Cream's mom!" He announced matter-of-factly, resting his hands on his hips. Jenny's expression turned from laid-back to shock, and she stood up straight,  
"O-oh, nice to meet you."  
"Nice to meet you too…. Come on, Steven," she muttered, looking back down at him, "We gotta catch up to him, yeah?"

"Oh yeah, you're right! See ya later Jenny!" He ran out the door and Vidalia gave a small wave before following soon after him.

* * *

With each step her heart beat faster and harder. A cold sweat started on the back of her neck and she knew, this was it. She was going to see her first-born, Sour Cream. _Marty Jr._

Her heart was beating so hard and so loud she could practically here it echoing in her ears. She saw two boys up in the distance, Steven was closer to them than she was. He got to them first. It only took a few more minutes to be behind the small boy, and she huffed while setting her bag down. She looked up at the two boys, knowing instantly which one was Sour Cream. He had his father's, well, _everything_. He was tall, too. Maybe almost as tall as him, if not taller.

"_Marty_..." She muttered, the name slipping out past her lips. Sour Cream stayed silent, not looking at her.

Buck squeezed his friend's shoulder before dragging Steven off, "Hey man, lets get you back to your dad."

"Oh, ok – bye Vidalia! I hope I can see you again later!" And just like that, they were gone, leaving only a mother and her son.

"Honey, I – I'm so sorry-"  
"Save it, mom. What are you even doing here?" He crossed his arms over his chest, feeling a whole mix of emotions. She just shows up – out of nowhere – and for what?

"I came here to see you and Onion… I thought it was about time I own up to everything I've done to you two and Yellowtail."

"…." He stayed silent for a few more minutes before actually looking at her. He could see himself in her eyes, and she looked almost the same from when he was a kid except for the lines on her face and the vibe that she gave off. After so many years though, why now?

"You don't have to forgive me, Sour Cream. You don't have to talk to me. I just want you and your brother to know that – that I love both of you so much, and I want to make things right. _Let me _make things right." She held her hand out to him, hoping that he'd take it.

He didn't.

She quietly lowered her hand and picked up her bag, "I see…. I get it."

"Mom… I don't know how to react to this. I can't – I can't see you right now," he pushed past her, bumping his shoulder with hers, and tried hard not to look back. She didn't know where he was going, but maybe that was for the best. They both needed some time to themselves, she guessed. Just one more person she should see – that was, if he wasn't out fishing right now.

She made her way to the docks, remembering exactly where those were for living so close to them. The smell was nostalgic as well as the sound, and she could see the exact ship from all those years ago, dirtied from use but still holding up pretty well. Yellowtail had already noticed her, and as she stood still on the sand and looked up at him, she could feel herself travel back in time. This was exactly how she had first met him. A staring match of sorts, child at hand, and expression on her face that he knew exactly how to read. And just like all those years ago, neither of the two had to say anything. Yellowtail walked over to her, took her hand in his, and walked her to the dock.

His hand was rough with calluses and his skin was dry, but it was the most comfortable hand she had held all day. In a way, she was finally home.


End file.
